Slow Living - Photo Essay with Snails

I was inspired to revisit the topic of living more slowly after reading a post on artist Julie Brown's blog Wabibrook Studio.  Thanks Julie for the reminder.

I read recently that snails have inhabited our planet for some 60 million years.  That is a lot of slow moving family history. 

Slow Living is a family tradition

One of my goals is to live more slowly, to take time to appreciate and enjoy what matters most in life; important relationships, spiritual growth, fitness, nature and creativity.  I thought that giving up work outside of the home would naturally translate into this easy-going, deeply meaningful, slow paced life.  Unfortunately, my family does not have a 60 million year old legacy of moving and living slowly.  Rather, I was raised to be productive, punctual and personable.  Do these seemingly admirable qualities prevent me from living the slow life?  No, but sometimes I struggle with these deeply imbedded life principles. 

Productivity is highly valued in our culture, we’re all about doing.  See (On Being vs Doing)   New acquaintances often ask, “What do you do?” Friends ask “What did you do on the weekend?”  I used to keep a lengthy to-do list so as to always have a pending task at my fingertips.   Now, I find I must consciously avoid creating written or mental lists of chores.  I have to remind myself that it is okay to have daily time that is not scheduled a time when I do not have to be productive.  I try to regularly give myself permission to do what I want, whether it is just sitting, napping or going for a slow stroll.  This is not as easy as it sounds; I have to quiet my inner critic who likes to label me as “lazy” for non-productive time.

It's okay to stop and admire my surroundings

Sometimes I just like to sit and think

Concerning punctuality, I would never be a proponent of purposely arriving late - that just seems rude; however, there are situations that arise that cause all of us to be tardy at one time or another.  The concern is the degree of anxiety or stress that I feel when I know that I will be late, the belief that a lack of punctuality is a flaw in my character, that a better person would have anticipated the flat tire, the accident on the bridge or the bus not showing up.

I don't need to rush.

Being personable has certainly had more positive results than negative, but it is a question of degrees.  I thrive when I have a healthy dose of alone time and I seem to need a lot more than most people.  It can be difficult for others to understand or accept.  Yet I have learned the hard way that forfeiting regular times of solitude in order to meet others’ expectations leaves me drained, unhappy and eventually angry at myself for being so “nice” that I have spread myself too thin at the expense of my own well-being.

I just need a little solitude

"I don't understand your need for so much time alone!"

So where does this leave me in my quest to s-l-o-w down?  I guess I still have a ways to go in achieving a slow living lifestyle, but I am getting there….albeit slowly!

Slow Living -I'm getting there...

A special thank you to all these snails who live in  my neighbour's garden.

And thank you too for slowing down and visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Have a most wonderful day,

Sandra

Leaving the workplace - what's in a title?

This post is the latest in a series of personal observations about leaving the workplace. (See rethinking work & leaving the workplace - beyond the fear)

Since officially resigning about ten days ago, I’ve had some very interesting reactions from people.  While I have considered myself an artist for a couple of decades now, having had exhibits, sold paintings and given lessons to others, when people would asked, “What do you do?” I would normally answer that I was a church secretary or a substitute teacher, depending on the part-time job I had at the time. 

You see, even when polite company asks you “What do you do?” and one replies, “I paint” or “I am an artist”, there is a slight narrowing of the eyes, a bubbling up of suspicion.  And who can blame them?  Even works of art that hang in museums and galleries often cause us to wonder if the work was done by a real painter or by a couple of angry cats fighting it out in the artist’s studio.

We are just more comfortable when people have a real job with a job title and are doing their part to keep the economy chugging along.  Take for instance an encounter I had with a neighbour last week, a married woman, who is the sole breadwinner in her family of four who does the lion’s share of work both in the home and out.  When she asked if I was back at school yet (substitute teaching) I replied that I had resigned.  I suppose it would have helped had the poor woman had some type of warning that I was considering leaving work.  It isn’t easy for people to process this type of information on the spur of the moment. Whereas, if people suspect you might leave the ranks of the employed they have an opportunity to prepare themselves, to prevent their eyes from enlarging to the size of small saucers and their jaws from falling to their chests. 

What? You resigned?!

After all, society and indeed nature itself often gives us time to adjust to people’s pending change in status.  We sometimes label engaged women as brides-to-be; pregnancy (thankfully!!) gives us (and the neighbours) many months to prepare and adjust to our changing status of mom and dad. 

In my neighbour’s defense, she made a rather lovely recovery from her shock by noticing my dogs, whom I was walking at the time, and very kindly pointed out, “Well you have your dogs to take care of now.” Wasn’t that sweet?

It isn’t just my imagination.  Our youngest daughter is a stay-at-home mom to Sadie-Anne who is almost a year old.  People often ask her when she’s going back to “work”.  (In Quebec we have an awesome maternity/paternity program that allows new parents up to one year of paid leave.) She proudly tells them she’s a stay-at-home mom, but that she is technically already back at work as the co-founder of the Eat, Play, Love Animal Rescue  a non-profit which she co-manages out of her home.  While most do not understand the calling to rescue animals that are at risk, they are happy to have a “work label” to attach to the job title of Mom (as if it needed anything added!).

Also this week, my husband and I met with our financial advisor to set up a new investment.  Our advisor was filling in the required form when he came to the box entitled job title there was a long moment of hesitation, the advisor looked to me and I glanced at my husband who replied, “Artist”.  Yes, I thought, Artist!   

Thank you for taking time to stop by My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Have yourself a lovely day ,you are en-titled to it.

Sandra

How to customize a cardigan sweater

Someone recently passed along a pretty blue cardigan sweater to me.  I loved the colour but the sweater was a little loose.  Today I tried it on again and decided it needed to be taken in a good two to three inches along the sides.    

Once I had it fitting properly I still wanted to “fix” it somehow.  I decided to give it elbow patches in a feminine floral pattern.  I used an oval dish as a template, turned under the edges of the patches, pressed them and using a zigzag stitch, sewed them onto the sleeves.  

Thinking that the front also needed to be dressed up, I used the same fabric to cut a small pocket, trimmed it with lace, a vintage button and voila!  A one-of-a-kind cute little cardi!

Front

back with elbow patches

pretty, feminine and unique

Passing along clothing to a friend or relative is a great way to "recycle" and economize.  Use your imagination (and your sewing machine) to make the "new-to-you" clothing uniquely "you".

Thank you for stopping by My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Wishing you a creative day,

Sandra

Leaving the workplace - beyond the fear

I’ve written recently about  re-thinking work , about my desire to live a life where my work is my art in all of its various expressions.  This is the big dream.  For the past dozen years I have worked part time, the past six years as a substitute teacher in a small high school. 

The beauty of substituting is that the schedule is usually flexible, there isn’t any work in the summer and the pay is quite good.  Well intentioned people have pointed out that “not everyone gets to do what they want.” This is true, thank you for pointing that out to me.  So what’s my problem?  Why don’t I grow up and work a few days a week, and be "creative"  the rest of the time?  Good point; and one I’ve struggled with over the past year and especially over the past few months.

If anything has become clear it is that fear has kept me with one foot in the classroom and one foot in the studio; fear of being (or being perceived as) selfish, a failure, broke, lazy – all the usual culprits that creative people struggle with. 

Today I finally pushed past the fear and contacted my vice-principal and asked her to remove my name from the list of available substitute teachers.  After I hung up everything was very quiet; I noticed the quiet in my home, the quiet outside, but especially the quiet in my mind and in my body.  I stood at my kitchen window looking out at my garden for a long time. 

What I am feeling is simply wonderful; a very big sigh, a very deep and peaceful breath.  I am deeply grateful and completely excited about what comes next.  

Thank you for checking out My Turquoise Kettle Life today,

Have a simply wonderful day,

Sandra

Sensible Schedules - Photo Essay with Cows

The photos that accompany today's post were taken near Eastman Quebec.  A special thank you to all the cows for their patience and cooperation.



September is like a huge switch that despite our reluctance and resistance gets turned "on" right after the Labour Day weekend. We all know that it’s coming, we know what it looks and feels like, yet we appear to be startled when it’s dark at 6:00 am or by 8:00 pm. Pulling our sweaters tightly about us we complain, "Its chilly today!" As if we had no idea that this is what was in store for us.

If we are caught off guard by the weather, imagine for a moment how many of us will feel when we find ourselves (once again) swamped with commitments to clubs, lessons, social groups, sports, committees, work, school and church. The French have a lovely term that sums up September, "la rentrée". A "re-entering". I've read it described as a returning from vacation, to home, to work, to normalcy.   If  "normalcy" causes you to feel some dread, it may be time to make a few  modifications.

While none of us can modify the rising or setting of the sun, or the chill that accompanies September, we do have choices about our schedules and how busy we allow ourselves to become. Here are five small steps that may help you to keep your schedule simple, healthy and enjoyable.

1. Under schedule.... set a limit to how many evenings/week-ends a month you are willing to be committed. You may not mind being out two nights a week but remember it isn't only what is scheduled that will fill up your weeks, unexpected and sometimes important requests will also arise. Leave gaps (lots of them!) in your calendar.

Escape over committment

2. Do schedule YOU time.... in the same way you would write commitments on your calendar, book certain times that are for your enjoyment. At the beginning of each month make a list of five things that refresh you, it could be a massage, a manicure, an evening at the library, watching a movie, a yoga class, chatting with a cherished friend over a cup of tea. You get to decide. Do not allow the wants of others deter you from these activities; you need them to stay healthy.

Schedule time to relax or hang out with friends

3. If you have children... research shows that over scheduling our children hurts not helps them. Limit each child to one sport or activity. Let them choose what interests them. Tell them they can try something different next time, but it is one activity at a time. This one suggestion alone could save your sanity (and your budget) this fall.

Nurture your children by not over scheduling them.

4. If you have a significant other... Don't allow your outside interests/obligations to trump together time with a significant other. While your spouse may agree that your "good works" are helping others, remember what is really important to you and invest your time there.

Schedule time with your significant other

5. Avoid the "shoulds"....When you are deciding where to volunteer or what to sign up for avoid the "shoulds". Just because you've been on the parent committee at your child's school for the past two years does not mean you have to volunteer there this year.

Any groups you'd rather not be involved with?

Avoid following the herd

A good way for me to gauge if I am where I want to be is how I feel when a meeting/event is cancelled. If I get a call that the event is postponed until next week and I find myself doing "the happy dance" around the kitchen, good chance it isn't what I want to be doing.

-------------------------

When my daughters were young, an older woman shared some wisdom with me. She said,

"Don't be everything you can be, be the only thing that you can be."

Simply explained, I am the only one who can be a great mom to my daughters, I am the only one who can be an awesome wife to my husband, and I am the only one who can be "Nana" to my grand-daughter.  There are roles and opportunities that you are uniquely positioned to fill, usually these are the most important and rewarding. 



In closing, choose wisely where you will spend your energy and your time this fall. If you cannot completely over-haul your schedule, take baby-steps, a few this September, a few more in January... even small changes will make "la rentrée" a more pleasant experience

Thank you for stopping by My Turquoise Kettle Life today,

Enjoy the long-weekend,

Sandra

Material Possessions - What I learned from my dogs

"It is preoccupation with possessions more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly."

Bertrand Russell (British Philosopher 1872 - 1970)


The saying goes, "You can’t teach an old dog new tricks." but I have found that an old dog can give insight into matters of great importance.

When we adopted Zack from the SPCA he was already seven years old, a middle-aged dog. I have no details about his former life or what precipitated his relocation to the SPCA. I have found that dogs are sensitive on the subject of having been given-up and are generally not forthcoming with the details.  I agree, let bygones be bygones.

Zack

It was a snowy, blustering February afternoon when we adopted Zack. Arriving home, I gave him a small blanket on which to curl up. He immediately latched onto the blanket, chewed a few holes in it and began to drag it around the house wherever he went. The first time I went to move the blanket I was surprised to find Zack grab the other end and begin a serious "tug-of-war", growling and thrashing about. His grip is so strong you can lift the blanket and almost raise Zack right off the floor. This makes for great fun, I like how worked up he gets over his blanket, growling, teeth bared, eyes blazing. I can hear my inner adult saying, "Sandra, are you teasing that dog??" While my inner child says, "No, we're just playing!"



Our previous dog, Abby, loved raw-hide dog bagels. She'd sit contentedly and chew on a "bagel" until it was gone, making very short work of it indeed. (She once broke into a bag of real bakery bagels and I suppose, knowing her good fortune might be short-lived, hid all six bagels in various places around the house.) So, I bought Zack a raw-hide bagel. Very gingerly he took it from my hand and ran upstairs to his blanket, leaving the bagel untouched like a gem on a velvet cushion. I assume he isn’t the raw-hide type, yet he is possessive about the bagel, he likes it to be on his blanket at all times.

Because Zack seemed a little anxious when he was left alone, I bought him a "Kong". Kongs are great, they're heavy duty rubber cones with a hollow interior into which you can place a dog biscuit or even peanut butter and your dog will (hopefully) be so occupied with chewing and trying to dislodge the treat and he will forget that he is lonely.

Zack.  His expression says it all

The Kong has become Zack's prized possession, if anyone comes into the house, he runs to get his Kong and makes sure that it was safely hidden or he stands over it, preventing the intruder from making off with his goods.

Zack's worldly possessions

A few months later we adopted another dog, Grace, who at fourteen is definitely a senior dog. Unlike Zack, Grace doesn't drag her blanket around; she shares it freely with Zack or any other visiting dog. Grace has little interest in chew toys or toys in general. What Grace does love is affection. Oh she isn't a saint by any means; she loves to sit beside us at the dinner table and comment (whine) on how good the food smells, sometimes even laying her big paw on my lap as if to say, "Darling, what a marvelous cook you must be." But I am not swayed by her flattery; no feeding the dogs from the table.

Grace.  Not a care in the world

There is a pattern of behavior that has developed with our dogs that I think is very telling. After each walk I unleash both dogs and head to the pantry to get them a dog-treat. Grace is always at my heels and Zack? Well wouldn't you know, Zack runs upstairs to his blanket, he checks to make sure that his bagel and his Kong are both stilll safe, and then he comes back to the kitchen for his treat. He doesn't do this on occasion, he does it every time. His mind is always on his possessions, “Are they safe? I better check." If Zack had an allowance he'd spend it on an insurance policy that would cover his "stuff". Grace? I think she'd spend it on a chair at the dinner table where she could enjoy good food and the company of those whom she loves and who love her.



Don't get me wrong, we adore Zack. His quirky ways make him very loveable and very "human".   Some of us could learn a little something from Zack and Grace.  After all I don’t think it’s ever too late to teach an old dog a few new tricks.

Thank you so much for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Have a dog-gone good day,

Sandra

Reduce Speed in Fog - Rethinking Work

In my post of last Sunday, entitled Lake House , I wrote how I was using the week to "chart a course" for September to really try to get clear about what direction I want to go in. I guess you could say I was in a bit of a fog. I was conflicted over my heart's true desires and what I thought I should do.

The fog can be a frightening place. If you've ever run into heavy fog while driving you know how it can appear unexpectedly out of nowhere, envelope you and force you to slow down. You strain to see the lines on the road unsure of what lies ahead.

I guess you could say I was in a heavy fog...I have wanted to fully commit to living the creative life for a very long time yet also felt the societal and personal pressure to "work". By "work" I mean I show up at the specified location, perform specified task and magically the specified payment appears in my chequeing account. As opposed to my creative work which actually feels more like play, which some days makes me so excited I feel an actual buzzing in my being and which of course does not result in any magical deposit to my chequing account.

But it isn't really about the money (the numbers work).  The fog was about still trying to justify taking that freedom and fully living it, making a choice that works for me (my husband believes that what works for me automatically works for him... did I mention how much I cherish him??) and not feeling guilty because so many other people work at jobs they don't like. I'm the person who is served an amazing meal but only nibbles at the edges of the delicacy because others overseas are hungry. Yes maybe I can help the hungry, but not by starving myself!

Is there anything positive about the fog? Well, yes. Fog obscures distractions, if I can't see ahead or to the sides and I can't turn around, then maybe I need to look within again. And that's when the fog began to lift, with encouragement from my husband I am ready to let go of the security of work and grab hold of the opportunity to embrace a season to create.

Interestingly, I awoke one day last week and noticed that a fog had settled over the forest surrounding the lake house. Grabbing my camera I wondered what that might look like down at the water. I actually wept at the beauty of what I saw.  My timing was divinely orchestrated... it lasted only about 15 minutes before the sun began to break through and the fog began to dissipate. Take a look for yourself.

Approaching the lake

Cottage across the lake with the moon in the sky

Already the sun is breaking through

Is it time for you to chart a new course?  Is there a dream that you've been putting off because it seems too risky, too crazy, and too selfish? There's a line that I heard when I was a teenager and all these years later it guides me when the fog closes in...."I'd rather regret something I'd done, than something that I didn't do."

Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to visit My Turquoise Kettle Life.

May today be the day you choose to follow your heart,

Sandra