Loss

 This past August we lost my dad to cancer.  His ever present, ever helping, always smiling, loving presence slowly dwindled away to nothing and was gone.  And while he assured me that he was ready to leave this life and was sure of his destination into the next realm, it has been difficult to process, difficult to fill in the gaping void his death has left. 

Wounded butterfly 

 

For us left behind, we attempt to pick up the pieces,  hobble together the care he so lovingly lavished on our mother, while helping her to understand and adjust to her new reality.  I am deeply thankful to have my sister, daughters and niece and others to walk this path with, without them I would have been swallowed up completely.

 I am not sure if I have grieved since his death or perhaps I grieved prior to that day, with what is referred to as anticipatory grief.  Certainly the saddest moments for me were seeing him struggle to remain independent.  He was patient and optimistic up to his last day, always more concerned about others than himself, not wanting to ever be a burden.  I sometimes think that because he lived life so selflessly I was relieved for him to be free of his suffering, free of the worry about his loved ones that sometimes consumed him, free from watching my mother, the focus and devotion of his life, age and begin to fail.  

I miss my father immensely but there is a certain unexpected comfort to be had in knowing that he is truly free.  

Thank you for stopping in at My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

Tell those whom you love how much you cherish them,

Sandra 

Reflection

Not too many years ago I went through a difficult season in my life when everything I thought I knew and understood about my life began to unravel.   Initially I scrambled to make sense of it and to hold on to what was familiar all the while assuring myself that I was okay with "everything".   Funny thing that human tendency to want to guard the status quo even at the expense of our core values, with a "devil you know" justification.  It was through this season of denial that I experienced a LOT of anger and fear.

Jump forward five years and I'm so grateful that I chose to release my grasp on the script I had written for my life, how it was "supposed to happen". With the wisdom of a trusted therapist, I chose instead to live according to my value of honesty over security, authenticity over appearances and the scary unknown over security... come what may.

And things did come, I got sick... really sick.  Alone in my hospital bed, too weak to walk, no appetite and sleeping endlessly I sensed God reminding me of a promise He gave me in 1997 when I first placed my faith in Jesus as my Saviour, He gave me a verse that I still cling too "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5).  If I'm honest, by that point I was too hurt, angry and sick to care about anyone's promises.  Thankfully many others were praying for me when I could not pray at all.  I was also surrounded by my AWESOME tribe (you all know who you are!).  Slowly and very gradually my health improved, the doctors had a diagnosis so we knew what we were dealing with. Yes, it is a chronic condition but my attending physician now says that I am his "miracle patient"!!!

I believe that most of my suffering years ago came as a result of holding so tenaciously to my version of  how things were "supposed" to turn out.  I'm so extremely thankful that I let go of the limited vision I had for my future and allowed God to show me His abundant plans for my life. 

Thank you for stopping in at My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

May you have the courage to live your truth,

Sandra

Mother May I ?

Do you remember playing the game Mother-May-I as a child? In keeping with my theme this  month, "May I", I'm reflecting on Mother's Day.

I'm blessed to be a mom to two beautiful young women and to still have my own mom, she's 82.  My mother however wasn't so fortunate; her mother died a few days after she was born.  Her childhood was not rosy. In response I think she was determined to create a stable home for her own daughters.  She admitted that at times she felt at a loss, that because she lacked a role model she felt uncertain about motherhood.  But don't all moms, and those who fill the role of mom,  often feel that way?  I know I certainly did (and sometimes still do).

So today Mom may I say that you are a great mom.  May I say that I appreciate all the mundane tasks and sacrifices you made to ensure that we had a safe home, hot meals, clean clothes, vacations, dance classes, encouragement  and love.  May I tell you that you created for us many memories and may I remind you how much you are cherished and loved. Mother may I?

Thank you for stopping in at My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

May you have day full of appreciation,

Sandra

A Place of Peace and Kindness

Let's just take a couple of minutes and do something kind for ourselves.  I was in a yoga/meditation class this morning and the instructor guided us through a meditation that allows us to access that place inside of ourselves that is always peace-filled, always calm regardless of circumstances that may be whirling about us or within us.  It went something like this:

• Sit comfortably and let your breath flow naturally 
• Choose a place within your body where you can actually feel the breath on your inhale/exhale, a place where there is no tension.
• Can you discern what colour this place is?
• Can you attach an image to this place?
• Can you attach a memory to the image?
• Keeping this imagery in mind, we can return to this peaceful place in our body when we feel stressed, it will act as a way to anchor or root ourselves to keep balanced in life's storms.

We can handle life's unpleasantness more effectively and with grace when we know how to decompress and relax.

Find a quiet place of solitude

❤

 I've mentioned in previous posts the importance of treating ourselves with love and kindness, I think it bears repeating.  The relationship I have with myself is the most important one I will ever have.  Looking after my mental, emotional, spiritual and physical wellness allows me to be the very best version of myself.  The challenge is that it is important but doesn't always feel urgent. I get it, others' lives, problems and drama feels more urgent and yes there are always times when we put our agendas aside to help, encourage and rescue others BUT we should have a boundary.  We shouldn't give and give until we are depleted.  How do I know when I'm running on empty?  I feel resentful.  Resentment is the red light flashing on the dashboard of my life.  I used to ignore it, now I respect it.  I pull back.  I choose one day each week that is only for me; a massage, a yoga class, a walk, a cup of tea in front of the fire, a book, a nap.  When I return refreshed I feel the joy of helping others, of listening of caring.
I hope that you too can find a quiet pocket of time and space this week to unplug from the noise of other people's lives and to listen to that still small voice within you.  After all if your inner voice doesn't merit your attention, what does?

Thank you for stopping in at My Turquoise Kettle Life today,
May you have a peace filled day,
Sandra

My Top Twelve Rituals that Comfort

It is mid-August, the sun is dipping a little earlier in the evenings, the morning air has the slightest chill and the stores are reminding us that "back-to-school" is closing in on us.  There is one maple tree on our street whose leaves begin to colour early each August.  I noticed those red leaves this morning as I walked the dog and I whispered to the tree, "Nooooo...".  



Withered Hostas Leaves
S. King-Allikas

While we cannot prevent the fading of summer and it's easy-going routines, I have put together a list of twelve rituals and ideas to help comfort and nurture through the busyness of autumn.

1. Gradually set your alarm earlier and earlier over the next couple of weeks until you have created a half hour (or more) of quiet and solitude for yourself each morning.
2. Drink your morning coffee or tea from the prettiest cup you can find (buy one if necessary).
3. Use the good china for breakfast.
4. Light a candle on the breakfast table (remember to extinguish it). You are sitting down to breakfast aren't you?
5. Pack a linen serviette in with your lunch. (mismatched vintage ones are great for this as you don't need a matched set.)
6. Listen to beautiful music as you commute instead of the radio.
7. Remember that God gives each of us enough time each day to do what really matters.
8. Make the entrance to your home welcoming; ditch the withered flowers in hanging baskets.
9. Indulge in the best slippers you can afford.
10. Visit a local farmer's market.
11. Drop one committee or group that you loathe attending.
12. Take time to cuddle your children, your partner, or your pet and whisper "I love you."

I hope this list inspires you to create additional routines that nurture your body and cradle your spirit.

Thank you so much for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Wishing you a happy day,

Sandra

Just an Ordinary Day

Pink Spirea
S. King-Allikas

There was nothing out of the ordinary about yesterday.  It was a Tuesday, a day that will soon slip easily into a string of days, undistinguishable from the other ordinary days that weave themselves together into the fabric that becomes my life.  Before that happens though I will be thankful for all of the blessings, I don't want to take them for granted but I so often do.

I so appreciate:

• a phone call to my mom and dad, hearing their voices.
• my sister's wise counsel.
• the sound of my grandchildren's voices in the background of a conversation with my daughter.
• an hour spent puttering in my garden.
• the feel of the wind over my face and arms as I ride my bike.
• the strength of my body as I run.
• my neighbours, a wave, a small chat, a tender word.
• food to cook and my husband to serve it to.
• our local library brimming with books waiting to be read.
• the colour of the night sky and the sound of the wind in the towering trees as I lay between crisp linens and drift safely to sleep.

Thank you God for every ordinary day, I will try to cherish each one.

Thank you for stopping in at My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

May you have a day to cherish,

Sandra

A little time with Grace

It’s been over a week since we said our farewells to our senior dog, Grace. At fifteen plus years she was an old gal by anyone's standards. Grace joined our family a scant sixteen months ago and despite telling myself this was (obviously) going to be a brief adoption, such logic doesn't seem to have been adequate insulation and protection against the ensuing sadness of saying good-bye.

Grace

Surely this shouldn't be a surprise; this matted, stinky blonde dog had me crying within the first fifteen minutes of meeting her at our local animal control center. (Adopting Grace) Her watery brown eyes and gentle disposition managed to melt my "one dog only" resolve nearly instantly.

And while I like to think that she enjoyed her final year, that she felt loved and enjoyed lots of walks, cuddles and treats, I think that I am the one who was lucky to have shared some time with her. Despite her age, the achy joints, failing senses and the challenges of dealing with her younger (and often hostile) canine brother, Zack, she remained gentle, patient and appreciative.

Often, there is much to learn from our doggie family members; may I learn to possess the grace of my friend Grace.

Thank you for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

Wishing you a grace-filled day,

Sandra

 

Could You Love Me?

 

Could you love me?

This is a guest post by Savanah, a beautiful 8 month old, female, lab mix.  Savanah has been staying with a foster family (who already has three dogs of their own) but is longing for a home of her own.

Sometimes it seems to me as though everyone has a family to call their own, you know, their own pack. I see them at the dog park and often walking past the window of my foster home.  I think to myself, "You lucky dog! Do you know how blessed you are to have a family that loves, cares for and appreciates you?" 

"Don't get me wrong, my foster family is a loving, lively place; with a Pit Bull, Bichon and a Schnauzer, this place rocks!  But sometimes in those quiet moments just before I drift off to doggie dreamland I imagine a human who comes to adopt me as their very own loyal friend.  I image how I will wag my tail when I hear their footsteps returning home in the evening, how we will watch TV shows side by side, how I will take them for long walks in the autumn leaves giving them a little fresh air and exercise.  I picture running on the beach and swimming in the lake, but heck, even an inflatable kiddy pool would be great.

You see, I've worked really hard at being exactly eveything that humans say they want in a canine companion; I never bark, I'm clean in the house, I delight in my solitude (no separation anxiety), I get along well with kids, dogs and cats and I even have a few doggy tricks up my furry sleeve. 

I guess I'm especially disappointed because I had a wonderful couple who adopted me a week ago ... but they said I wasn't cuddly enough.... and they returned me in less than 24 hours.  According to them I was perfect in every other way.  Correct me if I'm wrong but from what I understood being a 65 pound dog, I was taught that I wasn't exactly a cuddly lap dog, so I prefer to lay beside a human friend, not across them. 

Oh well, I'm not bitter, just a little disappointed, I know the "One" for me is out there.  In the mean time I will enjoy my foster brother and sisters, continue to be well behaved while I wait for that amazing day when I hear those words, "Come Savanah, we're going home girl."

If you think that you or someone you know is the "One" that Savanah is waiting for, please contact  the "Eat, Play, Love Animal Rescue" at their e-mail: eat.play.love.animal.rescue@gmail.com
Savanah is up to date with her vaccinations and is sterilized.

Thank you for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

Wishing you a day filled with love and companionship,

Sandra

Finding Beauty in Today - Inspiration from Erwin McManus

On a recent afternoon my friend, Stella, and I were sharing a cup a tea and a bit of reflection on a guest speaker that we had both had the privlege of hearing last week-end.  Erwin Raphael McManus; author, filmmaker, artist, visionary and founder of Mosaic Los Angeles, spoke at River's Edge Montreal. 

While Erwin touched on many deep and relevant topics one of the ideas that captured our interest was his encouragement to find beauty in our lives.  When we begin to seek and see the beauty in our daily lives we begin to see life through a different lense, a lense of appreciation, creativity and ultimately a lense of love and hope.

While I have often written here about "soaking up everyday beauty", I appreciated the reminder that the quality of my thoughts and life may very well depend on my ability to see the beauty in the small details of my life and my willingness to express gratitude for them.

To that end (and maybe to inspire you) I am grateful for this past week's beauty of:

• seeing my husband arrive home safely after a week of travel. 
• the faces of my family laughing and loving as we celebrated Mother's Day together.
• the sight and taste of chocolate cake (thanks Laura & Emily!)
• the way my grand-daughter hugs my husband.
• the scent of my neighbour's flowering crab apple tree in full bloom.
• my husband's good-night kisses.
• the colour of the morning sky at 5:30 when the dogs need to be walked.

The colour of Bleeding Hearts in the late afternoon sun



The way a curly wisp of hair escapes from under my grand-daughter's hat

See if you too can spot the beauty in today.  See it, taste it, hear it, feel it, smell it and watch it infuse your life with creativity, love and hope.

Thank you for checking out My Turquoise Kettle Life today,

Wishing you a beautiful day,

Sandra


How to Enjoy Christmas (for a change)

For years my husband and I have been trying to be authentic about Christmas and not get caught up with other people's ideas of what Christmas has to be. This year I think we have managed to do it! Here is what we did step by step:

1. Entertaining and Socializing

Decided which parties, dinners, outings we enjoy participating in.

Decided on any entertaining we wanted to host.

Decided which get togethers we are obliged to attend (thank goodness there's only one in that category!)

Decided which invitations we can politely decline.

Keep in mind that when you wish to decline you don't have to give a reason, but you can have excuses ready if you feel you need to.

2. Gifts

We made a list of who we will give a gift to.

Decided that everyone will be getting a hand-made gift and what it would be.

We didn't want the simplest easiest Christmas; we want a meaningful, authentic one. (We give a few financial gifts and those are the easiest -we write a cheque).

Decided to no longer fill a stocking for our (now adult) children. This one step alone feels liberating.

The last few weeks we've been working on our gifts, sometimes abandoning original plans and doing something else.

3. Christmas Cards

I bought blank craft store cards 5 x 7 inches and put one of my photos on the cover and wrote the inside messages. It’s simple to do and personal.

4. Baking/Food

I decided on 3 recipes for sweets that I will make. Two are already made and frozen and I'll do the last one next week.

5. Christmas Dinner

Our family does a large Christmas dinner (20 - 25 people) but each family brings part of the meal from buns to veggies and everyone contributes dessert .  We are very big on dessert, you can forget to bring your vegetable casserole, you can even forget to bring wine but you had better bring dessert!

6. The Christmas Tree

We don't have a Christmas tree. Well actually we had a little 3 ft tall house plant that really looked like a Christmas tree and I used to decorate it but I over-watered it in October and probably November too and I finally threw it away today, it was beyond hope - even Charlie Brown would have agreed.

About not having a Christmas tree - I really don't feel sentimental about the tree. I don't want an artificial one and I don't want to be sweeping up needles until next March. I now I'm in the minority but there you have it.

7. Why Christmas??

We remember that Christmas is about Jesus' arrival into our world, the miracle of his birth and the gift he offers each of us.

8. Generosity

My husband and I don't exchange gifts but find a person or family, either in our community or an organization that is in need and make a donation.

I think that's it. As I said, it has taken years to eliminate the expensive, draining, boring parts of the season and to be able to embrace what we enjoy, plus it changes from year to year. Some years I'm inspired to light up the front of our home in white lights. So far this year I have one tiny little evergreen in lights.

Your authentic Christmas will look completely different than mine. What matters is that if you are fortunate enough to have people around that you love and who love you, spend some time with them and let them know how you feel. Look out for those who have no one and if they don't have a place to be on Christmas, squeeze an extra chair around the dinner table.

Thanks for stopping by My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

Wishing you an authentic day,

Sandra

Of Mini-Wheats Addiction/ Personality Disorder and Best Friends

I've had this uncomfortable hunch for a while now. I think I might be addicted to Mini-Wheats cereal and suffering from Mini-Wheats Personality Disorder. You know the cereal, small bite-size squares of shredded wheat, plain on one side and sugar coated on the other. I have Mini-Wheats everyday for breakfast combined in a big bowl with raw oatmeal and All Bran. (I know what you're thinking and yes it is a lot of fiber.) This fact alone does not concern me, as my husband assured me yesterday over breakfast he's been eating Mini-Wheats for breakfast for 30 years (and he seems perfectly normal).

Mini-Wheats showing off their sweet and unsweetened sides. (They barely survived the photo shoot)

No, I'm not worried about breakfast; my concern arises over the fact that they are my through-the-day-snack-food. I grab a handful mid-morning to get me through to lunch. I also notice that when I have some unpleasant chore to do, or when I have to phone someone I don't really want to talk to, when I should be working on my finances, or when I'm feeling blocked artistically or sorry for myself or annoyed or ticked-off, or sad...there I am with a few Mini-Wheats in my hand. Yikes! It's a wonder I get anything done at all what with my hand stuck in that Mini-Wheats box so often.

Remember I wrote about my recent trip to the spa? Well, tucked away in my overnight bag were two plastic baggies of Mini-Wheats. Yesterday when my daughter Sam was here with her husband and a lovely couple they went to college with, we were talking about snacking and I just happened to mention that I think I might be addicted to Mini-Wheats. "Yeah, I think you are." my daughter agreed. Then her friend's husband piped up that he too takes Mini-Wheats as a snack in his lunch every day. Maybe I'm not alone I thought, maybe there are others out there like me; closet Mini-Wheats addicts.

Which leads me to my second observation and concern. The Mini-Wheats personality disorder. Sure the little character on the cereal box is cute; he has his "sweet" side and his "healthy" side. Could it be that my addiction has caused me to develop my own sweet, thickly sugar-coated side to hide my not-so-sweet side? Yes, I have to confess that I believe that I suffer from this affliction.

Yesterday I was having breakfast with my three of my absolutely dearest and most trusted friends. Now when I say, "I was having breakfast", I don't mean the breakfast where I break fast (I had my Mini-Wheats at home) this is the "breakfast" that is more like the appetizer to my lunch. My friends were very lovingly pointing out how I most often blog in the voice of my sweet side - you know the sugary one who wants so much for you to enjoy the sweet life. I always want to encourage you, my readers, to embrace and create your most wonderful, creative, artistic, rewarding and meaningful life. And yes, maybe it is true that I have avoided showing you my unsweetened side, not for lack of authenticity but rather so that you would have an uplifting place to visit, a positive oasis in your day. Ah, but there is the rub isn't it? Can I honestly encourage you to embrace a more simple, sane, healthy and creative life if I don't also share with you my own struggles, failings, fears, the things that make me want to scream or cry or give-up? What would my beloved Mini-Wheats be if they were sugar-coated on both sides? Nothing more than another kids' sugary breakfast cereal.

Hmmm. Now there is some heavy food for thought. I'm actually tearing up as I write this. Thank you my cherished friends, you who have seen my sugar-side highs and more often at my unsweetened-side lows. Thank you for loving this Mini-Wheats friend enough to encourage me to just be me, whether it’s my sugar side or unsweetened side that happens to be floating in my cereal bowl.

Thank you for stopping by My Turquoise Kettle Life today,

May you have an honest-to-goodness day,

Sandra

Practice Tender Loving Self-Care

Love it or loathe it, it’s the time of year when we begin to think about Christmas. If you are like most people, you're wondering how you can let those that you love and appreciate know how much you value their presence in your life. Often this translates into a shopping list or a "what to make them" list, or at the very least, what to write in their Christmas card so that they will know that you care.

While you are in the midst of your holiday planning, perhaps you could think about practicing a little self-care. A little early-in-the-season pampering could go a long way in helping you to manage the hectic month ahead.

Last week I had the opportunity to really indulge in some self-pampering. Using a very generous gift certificate I had been given for a local spa, I was treated to a facial, massage, hot tubs, a delicious lunch and an afternoon of lounging about in a fluffy white robe in a Zen-like setting. Later, I checked into a hotel; just me, alone. I had a room with a magnificent view of the of the Montreal skyline and as dusk fell and the lights from streets, cars and the cityscape jumped to life I was totally captivated by the sparkling beauty. I decided not to close the blinds so that I could enjoy the twinkling sky and the glittering city spread out before me.

That evening I didn’t do much really, I went for a long walk and did some reading. Mostly I just enjoyed the view and wondered about all the people. All these people that I share a city with. I prayed for them and especially for those who are frightened and struggling. Then finally I fell asleep; relaxed, pampered, grateful.

I also experimented with my camera and the night view from my hotel room window.... aren't these photos fun?

Saturday I walked around the shops, I guess I've lost something in this simplified life. I felt numbed by the glitz and the excess. When I arrived home that afternoon I really felt a deep appreciation for my husband, our simple home, the life we have built together and our two quirky dogs (who reacted as though I had been gone for a month).

This week I'm beginning to think about Christmas and how to keep the focus on the real reason we celebrate. I want to find ways to genuinely express my love and appreciation for those whom I cherish and also to be generous to those who are less fortunate.

I've promised myself to put healthy self-care very near the top of my holiday to-do list. For me that means daily quiet time, exercise, early to bed and healthy food (well...at least most of the time).

Why not set your holiday intention for wonderful self-care now before the festivities are in full swing?

Thank you for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Have an amazing day,

Sandra

October, Time to Review and Renew

I love the month of October.  While there is no longer any denying that summer is over, the beauty of autumn is now in full swing; apple picking, colourful leaves, pumpkins, Thanksgiving dinner and fires in the wood stove.  I find that there is something deeply satisfying about preparing for winter; taking stock of what we will need to winterize the house, packing away the outdoor furniture, uprooting the droopy annuals from the gardens and raking up heaps of fallen leaves.

I also love that final push to bring to fruition any outstanding plans or goals that are on my list for the year.  While I try to be flexible about goals, realizing that over the course of the year direction and focus can change, I like to take a good hard look at what I set out to do in January and which goals I’d still like to accomplish.

So this morning with an extra large mug of tea in hand, I reviewed my 2011 plans.  These goals are written in a beautiful hardcover journal with gilded pages.  If the goals are important why not give them a suitably impressive place to be recorded?

My theme for the year was “Faith, Focus, Discipline and above all Love”.  I dedicated one page to each of the various areas of my life such as: Fitness and Health, Family, Marriage, Finances, Creativity, etc.  Each page contains a brief list of things I wanted to focus on or accomplish in that category.  Periodically throughout the year I looked at each page as a gentle reminder of what I had hoped to do.  I make notes, cross things out, check things off so that I can keep track of my direction and progress.  I also keep one page for each month to record important things that have happened, achievements and failures.  I have used this system of goal setting and accountability for many years and find that is works well.

How am I doing?  There are areas that I am satisfied with and other areas that are less impressive.  The encouraging thing is that I have nearly three full months left to finish up projects, cross others off the list or take small steps to get goals I've procrastinated on started.   

One of the projects that I am trying to complete is the mosaic table that I began back in July.  I’d like to be able to use the table indoors during the winter for playing Scrabble or having dinner in front of the fire.  Because mosaic work is messy I want to finish the table outside on the verandah rather than indoors.  I’m also certain now that I do not have enough tiles to complete it and will need to find tiles of equal thickness to finish the project. 

Mosaic Table in Progress

All in all I feel a sense of excitement about what is ahead.  I know that some things will be carried forward to next year, but with a couple of baby sized steps each week I'm hoping to realize a few more goals this year that are  expressions of faith, focus, discipline and above all, love.

Thank you for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life today,

May your day be filled with love,

Sandra

Material Possessions - What I learned from my dogs

"It is preoccupation with possessions more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly."

Bertrand Russell (British Philosopher 1872 - 1970)


The saying goes, "You can’t teach an old dog new tricks." but I have found that an old dog can give insight into matters of great importance.

When we adopted Zack from the SPCA he was already seven years old, a middle-aged dog. I have no details about his former life or what precipitated his relocation to the SPCA. I have found that dogs are sensitive on the subject of having been given-up and are generally not forthcoming with the details.  I agree, let bygones be bygones.

Zack

It was a snowy, blustering February afternoon when we adopted Zack. Arriving home, I gave him a small blanket on which to curl up. He immediately latched onto the blanket, chewed a few holes in it and began to drag it around the house wherever he went. The first time I went to move the blanket I was surprised to find Zack grab the other end and begin a serious "tug-of-war", growling and thrashing about. His grip is so strong you can lift the blanket and almost raise Zack right off the floor. This makes for great fun, I like how worked up he gets over his blanket, growling, teeth bared, eyes blazing. I can hear my inner adult saying, "Sandra, are you teasing that dog??" While my inner child says, "No, we're just playing!"



Our previous dog, Abby, loved raw-hide dog bagels. She'd sit contentedly and chew on a "bagel" until it was gone, making very short work of it indeed. (She once broke into a bag of real bakery bagels and I suppose, knowing her good fortune might be short-lived, hid all six bagels in various places around the house.) So, I bought Zack a raw-hide bagel. Very gingerly he took it from my hand and ran upstairs to his blanket, leaving the bagel untouched like a gem on a velvet cushion. I assume he isn’t the raw-hide type, yet he is possessive about the bagel, he likes it to be on his blanket at all times.

Because Zack seemed a little anxious when he was left alone, I bought him a "Kong". Kongs are great, they're heavy duty rubber cones with a hollow interior into which you can place a dog biscuit or even peanut butter and your dog will (hopefully) be so occupied with chewing and trying to dislodge the treat and he will forget that he is lonely.

Zack.  His expression says it all

The Kong has become Zack's prized possession, if anyone comes into the house, he runs to get his Kong and makes sure that it was safely hidden or he stands over it, preventing the intruder from making off with his goods.

Zack's worldly possessions

A few months later we adopted another dog, Grace, who at fourteen is definitely a senior dog. Unlike Zack, Grace doesn't drag her blanket around; she shares it freely with Zack or any other visiting dog. Grace has little interest in chew toys or toys in general. What Grace does love is affection. Oh she isn't a saint by any means; she loves to sit beside us at the dinner table and comment (whine) on how good the food smells, sometimes even laying her big paw on my lap as if to say, "Darling, what a marvelous cook you must be." But I am not swayed by her flattery; no feeding the dogs from the table.

Grace.  Not a care in the world

There is a pattern of behavior that has developed with our dogs that I think is very telling. After each walk I unleash both dogs and head to the pantry to get them a dog-treat. Grace is always at my heels and Zack? Well wouldn't you know, Zack runs upstairs to his blanket, he checks to make sure that his bagel and his Kong are both stilll safe, and then he comes back to the kitchen for his treat. He doesn't do this on occasion, he does it every time. His mind is always on his possessions, “Are they safe? I better check." If Zack had an allowance he'd spend it on an insurance policy that would cover his "stuff". Grace? I think she'd spend it on a chair at the dinner table where she could enjoy good food and the company of those whom she loves and who love her.



Don't get me wrong, we adore Zack. His quirky ways make him very loveable and very "human".   Some of us could learn a little something from Zack and Grace.  After all I don’t think it’s ever too late to teach an old dog a few new tricks.

Thank you so much for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Have a dog-gone good day,

Sandra

The Lake House

This post was written last week while my husband and I vacationed at our favourite lake side house in the Eastern Townships.  Click the link to read about our visit last May. Retreat


Saturday, August 13, 2011

As I write this I am sitting in the center of a king sized bed in a tree-top room overlooking the forest below as it slips down to the edge of the lake. It is getting late and our two dogs are restless as they anticipate an evening walk. "Later." I whisper to them, wanting only to savour this time, this place, this solitude.

A beautiful space with an amazing view

The neighbouring cottage is out of sight but the sounds of quiet music, voices and laughter rise as a comforting reminder that I am not completely isolated. I didn't know that I would be back so soon having spent a wonderful week here just three months ago. Yet I am so completely thankful that I am.


I spent the afternoon alternately swimming and laying on the dock watching dragon flies, the clouds and the occasional paddle boat chug past.

I've been thinking, praying, painting, writing, taking stock and planning for the return of September's routine. I want to learn to really savour my days rather than allowing them to wash together in a blur. I'm wondering how to use this life, this gift, to love others without forgetting to love and care for myself, wondering how to make a small living without sacrificing real living, wondering how to be creative about time to create.



It is inevitable that summer's luxury of unstructured days will be gently folded and put away for awhile. That's okay, "For everything there is a season" and I have always loved September for its challenge to begin anew, a fresh page full of potential and promise.

While many students are choosing which courses to take, many students of life are also choosing which course to take. I cannot imagine a place that is more conducive to “charting my course" than this cottage and for that I offer up a simple prayer, "Thank you".

Thank you for visiting "My Turquoise Kettle Life".

Have a splendid day,
Sandra

Celebrate Someone You Love - Simply

Last Thursday was my dad's birthday.  Words cannot describe the love, admiration and respect that I have for this man.  He is understanding, encouraging, a gentle listener, my lifelong cheerleader.  My dad doesn't like anyone to make a "fuss" over him, he doesn't want gifts, he'd never  mention that it was his birthday if you didn't know (or if you forgot, as I did when I was sixteen!). 

To celebrate him, I was planning a small family supper and wanted it to be simple (of course) but also special.  It was a beautiful summer day here Thursday so I set up a long table on my front verandah.  This table is just an old slab door that we set on a pair of wooden (Ikea) legs, it sits eight very comfortably and ten very cozily.  A couple of off-white tablecloths that fall to the floor, a handful of daisies plucked from my garden and placed in a vinaigrette bottle. This setting, against the backdrop of garden shrubs and flowers, was simple yet elegant.

The menu was equally easy; barbequed burgers, salad and delicious lentil brown rice burgers (recipe below) for those of us who prefer the vegetarian option, and of course a birthday cake.  When you take the focus off of elaborate and often expensive meal preparations you can relax with your guests and enjoy the conversation, the laughter, stories and memories. That evening we sang "Happy Birthday" and sat around the table chatting until the sun dipped below the trees.  My husband commented a few times on what a lovely evening it had been. 

What about the special people in your life? When it is all said and done, what remains?  Really only love.  How you loved and how you were loved.  There are six months left in this year.  Could you find a way to celebrate six special people?  Could you do it in a way that is simple and sincere?  If you have found a way to celebrate someone special, send me an e-mail at sandra.myturquoisekettlelife@gmail.com and share your simple celebration details.

Thank you for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Have a simply beautiful day,

Sandra

Here is the recipe for  Lentil Brown Rice Burgers. 

Lentil Brown Rice Burgers (makes 8-10)

1 cup (250 ml) green lentils (don't worry - there's no soaking required!)
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 tsp (5ml)of oregano (or Italian Seasoning)
1/4 cup (60ml) of onion finely chopped (or chives)
2 cups (500 ml) of cooked brown rice
1/2 tsp (2ml) steak spice or to taste
Pepper to taste
olive oil for cooking

Put lentils, garlic, oregano and onion into a medium-size sauce pan.  Cover with water.  Bring to a boil over medium-high heat.  Boil for 4 minutes, reduce heat to medium-low, cover and simmer for 30 minutes.  Check at least 3 times during simmering, stirring occasionally; if water has reduced by too much add about 1/2 cup (125ml) (goal: get lentils to absorb water, but not burn). If there is excess water after cooking, carefully drain it off.  Cool lentils 10 minutes.

Combine all ingredients into a food processor (or similar gadget) and whirl around until things begin to stick together.  Form mixture into patties about 4 inches in diameter. 

Preheat skillet with olive oil. Place patties 4 at a time in skillet and cook for 2-3 minutes per side or until slightly browned.

Place on toasted burger buns and enjoy.  To freeze, allow burgers to cool and wrap individually in plastic wrap.

On Being

On Tuesday I explained how I try not to overschedule my time.  I used to be a maniac about my to-do list.  On Mondays I would look at the previous week's list and transfer anything not yet done to the current list and then I would add all the new things to do.  I loved the list!  I'd put it on the fridge and get great joy from crossing off items as they were accomplished.  Sometimes if I did something not on the list, I would add it to the list afterwards so that I could have the satisfaction of crossing it off!  I would show my husband the list..."Look at my list!"  I'm not sure if I was complaining about it or proud of it. 

Why did I do that?  Was it because I worked part-time and needed to prove I was still busy?  People would ask me, "How are you?"  I would answer "I'm really busy."  That isn't even an answer to that question!  My very wise husband once asked me, "What are you rushing through all of this for? What do you want to get to?"  I had to admit that all I really wanted was to try to get "all this done" so that I could finally rest.  The earlier I could fall into bed at night, the better.

This past February we lost a very dear friend of ours, Michael Leonard.  Mike was only 29 years old.  He had been born with the condition spina bifida and spent all of his life in a wheel chair and many months at a time in hospital.  His condition meant that he needed assistance to do what most of us take for granted. Physically he really couldn't do much.  But Mike had a personality, a smile and spirit about him that was magnetic.  He loved people, especially his church family.  Michael and my husband had regular Tuesday night get togethers.  Sometimes they'd meet where Mike lived, sometimes they'd arrange for the adaptive transport bus to bring him to our house to play a few hours of billards.  Often they'd meet in a hospital room with some take-out food.

My point is that Michael didn't need to do anything to be special and important.  He was about  being and not doing... being thoughtful, being supportive, being funny, being an encourager.  About two weeks before Michael passed away, he'd heard that our beloved dog Abby had died.  He was the first person to phone me and say how sorry he was to hear our sad news.  Maybe because of what he'd been through Michael was able to cut through the superficial and get to the heart of the matter and to the hearts of those who mattered to him, which was pretty much everyone he met.

You will of course understand why at Michael's memorial service it was standing room only.  There were line ups at the open microphone of people who wanted to share how Michael had impacted, encouraged, changed them.  His closest friend wrote a song about him and performed it.

Finally, it wasn't really hard to give up the "to-do" habit.  These days I'm trying to do a little less and be a little more.  Thank you for the inspiration Michael.

Thank you for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Have a wonderful day just being you,

Sandra

Why Turquoise Kettle?

Some people have asked me, "Why Turquoise Kettle? What does it mean?"

Three years ago my husband and I purchased a little summer house that sat at the edge of a pretty canal.  The house had been sadly neglected but in my eyes it had loads of potential.  The setting was so charming that I immediately fell in love with it.  I had always (forever!!) wanted a house on the water.  I have a thing about water, it lures, soothes, calms and fascinates me.  Oceans, rivers, lakes even a narrow canal, they all have the same effect.

About a week after we finalized the purchase, I was shopping and spotted an enamel turquoise kettle with a whistle and a silver heart shaped handle on the lid.  It was perfect! This kettle was exactly the look and feel I wanted for our summer house.  I imagined this one item setting the mood for the all the renovations and decorating we would do there.  It would be the symbol of my simple, uncluttered life by the water.

I picked up the kettle and carried it around while I browsed through the rest of the store.  And then I did a funny thing, I put it back.  I left the store without it.

Days later I was telling my sister about that experience.  Why hadn't I bought it?  My best guess was that I didn't think I needed it.  But I realized that I didn't feel that I deserved it.  Not that I wasn't worthy of a kettle, it was what it symbolized to me. Who was I to have this amazing life?  A loving husband, wonderful daughters, even a son-in-law I adore, an artist life ...and a house on the water.  That kettle symbolized all I had and all that I hoped to create.  I had held it and yet chose to put it back as if to say, "Thank-you but I have enough.  I don't need or deserve more."

The next day my sister showed up at my door.  In her hands she held my turquoise kettle!  Awestruck by her kindness and love, I began to cry (quite typical behaviour for me...I am often moved to tears). "How did you know it was this one?" I asked.  "I saw it and I knew it was you." she said.

We have since sold the summer house.  We sold it completely furnished; with the exception of the turquoise kettle.  The kettle now sits in my suburban kitchen, reminding me, "Who are you not to have a wonderful, love-filled and creative life?"

Thank you sisto...

My turquoise kettle and this blog serve as a reminder to me that there is no benefit in being miserly with myself, no one wins when I set limits on the amount of creativity, love and abundance that I allow to God pour into my life.  My job is to create, to be thankful and above all to love.

Thank you for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Sandra