Seeking Joy

We stood on the sidewalk chatting, it was evening and rain clouds were gathering.  Her life had not been easy in recent years.  "I used to be a joyful person."she confessed.  The sentence was brief but filled with a weight that seemed to land heavily on the sidewalk between us.  We were both quiet for a moment, this woman from my neighbourhood and I.  I spoke very quietly, "You've got to get your joy back." 
"I'm trying", she answered sincerely, "I'm trying".

I confided a painful situation from childhood, "Therapy helped finally" I said.  "How long?" she asked.  "Well it was rather like an onion" I explained, "I would have relief for a while, then realize there was another layer to deal with.  So, about twenty years in all."  She nodded, thoughtfully.

This left me thinking about happiness and joy. The roots of joy run deeper than happiness.  Happiness skims the surface of life ebbing and flowing with circumstances and mood. A small chirping bird that alights on the rooftop of my life, easily startled by a slight breeze, a fluttering leaf, a sudden movement and it may take flight.

Joy is the stray cat who sits in the garden waiting and watching, who finally trusts enough to rub against my ankle.  The soft and quiet one whose motor purrs at my arrival, who captures my heart and eventually moves in for good, curling up near me in the dark nights, whose meows greet me mornings to announce, "I'm here, you are here too."  This is joy.

My neighbour and I chatted a while longer but eventually the wind picked up, the sky darkened and we said goodbye.  Later, watching the rain drizzle down the windows, with a small cat perched on the back of the sofa beside me,  I whispered a prayer for her, that she would find the path to her joy - may we all.

Thank  you for stopping by My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

Wishing you a day of joy,

Sandra

Reflection

Not too many years ago I went through a difficult season in my life when everything I thought I knew and understood about my life began to unravel.   Initially I scrambled to make sense of it and to hold on to what was familiar all the while assuring myself that I was okay with "everything".   Funny thing that human tendency to want to guard the status quo even at the expense of our core values, with a "devil you know" justification.  It was through this season of denial that I experienced a LOT of anger and fear.

Jump forward five years and I'm so grateful that I chose to release my grasp on the script I had written for my life, how it was "supposed to happen". With the wisdom of a trusted therapist, I chose instead to live according to my value of honesty over security, authenticity over appearances and the scary unknown over security... come what may.

And things did come, I got sick... really sick.  Alone in my hospital bed, too weak to walk, no appetite and sleeping endlessly I sensed God reminding me of a promise He gave me in 1997 when I first placed my faith in Jesus as my Saviour, He gave me a verse that I still cling too "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5).  If I'm honest, by that point I was too hurt, angry and sick to care about anyone's promises.  Thankfully many others were praying for me when I could not pray at all.  I was also surrounded by my AWESOME tribe (you all know who you are!).  Slowly and very gradually my health improved, the doctors had a diagnosis so we knew what we were dealing with. Yes, it is a chronic condition but my attending physician now says that I am his "miracle patient"!!!

I believe that most of my suffering years ago came as a result of holding so tenaciously to my version of  how things were "supposed" to turn out.  I'm so extremely thankful that I let go of the limited vision I had for my future and allowed God to show me His abundant plans for my life. 

Thank you for stopping in at My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

May you have the courage to live your truth,

Sandra

Chalk on a Sidewalk

A couple of weeks ago my grandchildren were chalking on the sidewalk in front of our home.  They were leaving messages to encourage our neighbours to "wash your hands", "smile", they drew rainbows and hearts.  I picked up a piece of chalk and wrote out, "Be kind, Be patient, Be good to yourself and to others" on a section of sidewalk. 

Two mornings later I stepped out early to walk my dog and found a note in a plastic sleeve on my balcony (see below).  I was so completely moved by the note and the sentiment of how a few simple words, chalked on a sidewalk had impacted a mom and daughter. 

Later that day I saw a woman and young girl on my driveway who seemed to be peeking up at the balcony, I opened my window and said hello and it was indeed the woman who had left the note.  She explained again how the words had turned their day around and wanted to let us know.  Since my grandchildren are very close in age to her daughter we promised that when the quarantine is over we would get together.

What a lovely reminder of the impact that a few encouraging words can have on us and on our neighbours. 

Thank you for stopping by My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

May you have a wonderful day,

Sandra

Emotional Contaminants - An Ounce of Prevention

Since in my previous post I've committed May to be my "may I ..." month, I'm going to post weekly in an effort to keep myself accountable.

The month of April was frustrating on the health front, not in any big way, just small annoyances.  But I can trace it back now to a single event.  If you think I'm off my rocker with this post, that's just fine, I'm going to share my thoughts regardless.

I met a work colleague for a coffee.  She's a lovely woman.  In the space of 90 minutes however she had told me about 15 years worth of negative things that had happened to her, her husband (a former employee of our employer) and others at the hands of our corporation.  I found during our coffee time that I wasn't even able to lean in to the conversation, I physically found myself sitting way back in my chair.

Now I know no one and no organization is perfect, but I had considered our company to be the nicest, most  responsible employer I have worked for to date.  I believed that my ideals lined up with theirs.  I am respected and treated very, very well.  Now I felt afraid.  I began thinking that I better be very careful, I better keep quiet, keep any suggestions, observations to myself.

I got home, I couldn't digest this information.  I ate a cracker, I choked on it, it got lodged in my throat.  I got it down but my throat hurt.  For a week I kept trying to peer down my throat.  I guess gaping down my throat so often (mouth ajar way more than normal, lol) I caught a bug, I got a sore throat, it turned into real laryngitis.  I had no voice. I felt anxious.  I got congested, developed a cold, it turned into a sinus infection, my eyes got infected.

Its almost comical isn't it?  Except it wasn't for me.  Not at the time. But when I traced it back to my coffee date it began to make sense.

 I am an adherent to the metaphysical belief about thoughts and energy affecting my health.  When I developed the laryngitis I looked up in my Louis Hay book, "Heal Your Body" the possible causes of laryngitis : "So mad you can't speak.  Fear of speaking up.  Resentment of authority."
Oh my goodness!!!  That was me exactly.  I was angry to hear that anyone may have been mistreated, afraid to speak up with new ideas of suggestions, and felt a fear of the authority of my employer!  Basically my body became blocked, nothing flowed, blocked voice, nose, sinuses.  I went to the clinic, and I began to heal.

Life is lovely when it flows from a place of trust

This weekend I felt really drawn to my prayer time, it was intense and wonderful and yes, there were tears (these are neither happy nor sad tears - they are just prayer-tears to me)  All the prayers and tears seemed to unblock something emotionally, spiritually and even physically (my sinuses!).  And then a funny thing happened, things flowed again.  My mood, my energy level, my thoughts.  I was able to spend time with people whom I love, fun activities presented themselves, shopping with my sister we discovered those perfect finds, even a wonderful creative opportunity arrived in my e-mail last night.

My take-away.  Be very careful what you expose yourself to.  What will I do if I find myself in that situation again?  I won't binge eat crackers!  I think I will try to find a quiet place and take some time to acknowledge what happened, to identify what about the encounter/situation upsets me, why am I feeling frightened, sad, anxious and remember that while a situation may require action it does not require me to be contaminated by other people's fears, anger.  I can throw a life preserver from the side of their cesspool, I don't have to jump in.

Thank you for stopping by My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

May you have a lovely day,

Sandra

Of Sparrows and Synchronicity

I just love the synchronicity of life, the unseen web that weaves us all together.  It leaves me in awe when my very thoughts and inward questions are answered in surprising and amazing ways.

For the past two blustery and freezing days I've refilled the bird feeder that hangs on my front balcony several times.  I've watched with amusement, from the warmth of my kitchen, as dozens of sparrows flit back and forth from shrub to feeder over and over again.  Food for birds is scare in January in Canada.

I was moved by their community dining, the way they braved the plunging temperatures and fierce winds, huddling together, taking turns at the feeder and hopping on the snow covered balcony floor looking for seeds that had fallen.

Yesterday I tried taking some photos of the sparrows (an exercise in futility) and then of the patterns their feet had made in the snow (equally unsuccessful).  I had really wanted to write a post about them, but wasn't sure what.  All I knew was that I had spent a lot of time watching them, appreciating them.

Earlier today I received an e-mail from a real estate agent I'd connected with over a year ago from Prince Edward County, Ontario.  We chatted back and forth a bit, I updated her on why I was no longer looking to relocate at this time (divorced, doing work I love now...) and I mentioned my blog which would give her an idea of what had been going on.  She wrote back saying that the last blog entry reminded her of a hymn "His Eye is on the Sparrow".  "That's weird", I thought, "sparrow?".  I wasn't familiar with the hymn so I listened to it on my phone as I watched the sparrows from the window; tears welled up as the words assured of how we are known, protected and provided for.  If you're not familiar with the reference, there is a line in the Bible that goes something like this, Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet God feeds them...Fear not therefore you are of more value than many sparrows.

We can all relate to the "winter seasons" of our lives, when the winds blow and we fear that what we need may be scarce.  How reassuring it is to be reminded that we are all connected and that what we require will be provided, sometimes in the most unusual and surprising ways!

Photo courtesy of Garden Safari

Thank you for stopping in at My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

May you experience the joy of synchronicity,
Sandra

Just an Ordinary Day

Pink Spirea
S. King-Allikas

There was nothing out of the ordinary about yesterday.  It was a Tuesday, a day that will soon slip easily into a string of days, undistinguishable from the other ordinary days that weave themselves together into the fabric that becomes my life.  Before that happens though I will be thankful for all of the blessings, I don't want to take them for granted but I so often do.

I so appreciate:

• a phone call to my mom and dad, hearing their voices.
• my sister's wise counsel.
• the sound of my grandchildren's voices in the background of a conversation with my daughter.
• an hour spent puttering in my garden.
• the feel of the wind over my face and arms as I ride my bike.
• the strength of my body as I run.
• my neighbours, a wave, a small chat, a tender word.
• food to cook and my husband to serve it to.
• our local library brimming with books waiting to be read.
• the colour of the night sky and the sound of the wind in the towering trees as I lay between crisp linens and drift safely to sleep.

Thank you God for every ordinary day, I will try to cherish each one.

Thank you for stopping in at My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

May you have a day to cherish,

Sandra

Women's Summer Studio benefits Logifem

Last Friday wrapped up the 2012 session of the Women's Summer Studio, (2012 Summer Studio)  With over twenty participants during the past ten weeks the studio was a real success.  Aside from all of the beautiful creative work that was produced, it was a wonderful way for women to connect with other women who share a desire to explore their artistic side.

Over the past few weeks I have been giving serious consideration about how to use a portion of the money that was raised to benefit those who are less fortunate.  When I thought of Logifem, an organization that shelters and assists abused/homeless women, it seemed like the perfect fit; women helping other women.

Thank you to each of the women who participated in the studio this summer, today I was able to send a cheque for $100 to Logifem to help them to continue to reach out to women in need.  May you continue to nurture your creative self and give full expression to your playful inner artist.

Thank you for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life today.

Wishing you a happy day,

Sandra

Women's Summer Studio Continues to Grow

As the summer chugs along the Women's Summer Studio continues to grow and participants continue to inspire and amaze me with their creativity.  There seems to be an attitude of fearlessness amongst most of the artists which allows them to push, experiment and discover themselves as painters.

There are currently twenty women participating in the Studio.  What I love is how varied the energies are during different studio sessions.  Some groups are hushed, working intently while classical music whispers in the background, while others are infused with an electric energy where the group is singing along to Abba and Blue Rodeo.  What fun! 

Women's Summer Studio 2012

Women's Summer Studio 2012

What remains constant for me is a real sense of connection, respect and love for each of the women I have the honour of meeting with each week.

While I have my morning quiet time I whisper their names and ask that each of them be blessed in their lives and their creativity and that the Studio would be a fun place of nurturing, connection and artistic expression. 

There remains three weeks of Studio time.  I'm excited to see what projects will be realized before the session comes to a close.  Check back in a couple of weeks, with the artists' permission perhaps I can post photos of some of their work.

Thank you for stopping in at My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Wishing you a perfect summer day,

Sandra

Summer Workshop 2012

This is going to be the briefest of posts.  I simply wanted to direct your attention to the upper right hand corner of the screen where the heading "Workshop 2012" is listed. All relevant details are listed there.

This workshop entitled, "The Women's Creativity and Painting Summer Studio", will run from Friday, June 1 until Friday, August 3, 2012. 

Join me in my studio this summer.

Please contact me by e-mail at sandra.myturquoisekettlelife@gmail.com if you have questions or would like to schedule a time to join us in the studio.

Wishing you a wonderful day,

Sandra

The Farmers' Market - Simple Abundance

Yesterday I visited one of our local farmers' markets with my daughter and grand-daughter.  There is something special about an outdoor farmers' market at the end of the season.  The weather is crisp, the crowds have subsided (especially mid-week) and the colour of the fall produce is rich and vibrant.  Many of the stands will close at the end of October so shopping outdoors for fresh local produce has an "enjoy it while you can" feel-good quality.

If you hurry, you can still squeeze in a visit or two to your local farmers' market.  Buying local, meeting a farmer, enjoying a feast for your eyes as well as for your table.... what a great way to spend an afternoon.

Thank you for stopping by My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Have a bountiful day,

Sandra



The Benefit of Painting in Community

In our hectic, fast-paced, consumer-driven society, it's common to feel overwhelmed, isolated and alone. Many are re-discovering the healing and empowering role that community can bring to our lives. The sense of belonging we feel when we make the time to take an active role in our communities can give us a deeper sense of meaning and purpose.
-- Robert Alan

I've recently begun to get together with a small group of painters on Tuesday mornings to paint under the guidance of artist and friend Anne Van Mierlo. Anne was instrumental in encouraging me to pursue painting years ago, so it is wonderful to once again find myself soaking up her enthusiasm, expertise and love of painting.


The room that we have been meeting in is a beautiful light filled space with high ceilings and huge windows overlooking wooded grounds. The bonus is that it is just a ten minute walk from my home.


While I love the solitary aspect of working in my own studio, painting in a group has reminded me of how valuable it is to get feedback, encouragement and often times that "push" beyond my comfort zone. Our morning always includes a time of critique when we explain what we are working on and welcome the input of the group. Finally, there is the benefit of having a scheduled creativity time outside of my home that precludes the temptation of distraction.



Some days my love of figurative work wanders away and I find myself mucking about with abstract. I'm trying not to get too caught up with my style; rather I am just enjoying the process. I'm very happy with how things have been going these last few weeks and have finally taken a few photos of my recent work to post on my Art Gallery page.

Square Pear
20 x 20 Mixed Media on Gallery Canvas

I'm reminded that we are created to be in community no matter what our profession or lifestyle. A pastor once described community as a place where we, like rough stones, have our hard edges made smooth by jostling amongst other rough stones in our community. At its best community helps us to find a sense of belonging, a place to share our burdens and our gifts, where we are encouraged to test our wings without fear of failure and a place where the good that is generated expands beyond the parameters of the group. Whether a group of friends, a volunteer organization a faith community or a professional association we can all benefit from community. Have you found a place of belonging, a community to call your own?

Thank you for visiting My Turquoise Kettle Life.

Have an amazing day,

Sandra