The month of April was frustrating on the health front, not in any big way, just small annoyances. But I can trace it back now to a single event. If you think I'm off my rocker with this post, that's just fine, I'm going to share my thoughts regardless.
I met a work colleague for a coffee. She's a lovely woman. In the space of 90 minutes however she had told me about 15 years worth of negative things that had happened to her, her husband (a former employee of our employer) and others at the hands of our corporation. I found during our coffee time that I wasn't even able to lean in to the conversation, I physically found myself sitting way back in my chair.
Now I know no one and no organization is perfect, but I had considered our company to be the nicest, most responsible employer I have worked for to date. I believed that my ideals lined up with theirs. I am respected and treated very, very well. Now I felt afraid. I began thinking that I better be very careful, I better keep quiet, keep any suggestions, observations to myself.
I got home, I couldn't digest this information. I ate a cracker, I choked on it, it got lodged in my throat. I got it down but my throat hurt. For a week I kept trying to peer down my throat. I guess gaping down my throat so often (mouth ajar way more than normal, lol) I caught a bug, I got a sore throat, it turned into real laryngitis. I had no voice. I felt anxious. I got congested, developed a cold, it turned into a sinus infection, my eyes got infected.
Its almost comical isn't it? Except it wasn't for me. Not at the time. But when I traced it back to my coffee date it began to make sense.
I am an adherent to the metaphysical belief about thoughts and energy affecting my health. When I developed the laryngitis I looked up in my Louis Hay book, "Heal Your Body" the possible causes of laryngitis : "So mad you can't speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority."
Oh my goodness!!! That was me exactly. I was angry to hear that anyone may have been mistreated, afraid to speak up with new ideas of suggestions, and felt a fear of the authority of my employer! Basically my body became blocked, nothing flowed, blocked voice, nose, sinuses. I went to the clinic, and I began to heal.
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| Life is lovely when it flows from a place of trust |
This weekend I felt really drawn to my prayer time, it was intense and wonderful and yes, there were tears (these are neither happy nor sad tears - they are just prayer-tears to me) All the prayers and tears seemed to unblock something emotionally, spiritually and even physically (my sinuses!). And then a funny thing happened, things flowed again. My mood, my energy level, my thoughts. I was able to spend time with people whom I love, fun activities presented themselves, shopping with my sister we discovered those perfect finds, even a wonderful creative opportunity arrived in my e-mail last night.
My take-away. Be very careful what you expose yourself to. What will I do if I find myself in that situation again? I won't binge eat crackers! I think I will try to find a quiet place and take some time to acknowledge what happened, to identify what about the encounter/situation upsets me, why am I feeling frightened, sad, anxious and remember that while a situation may require action it does not require me to be contaminated by other people's fears, anger. I can throw a life preserver from the side of their cesspool, I don't have to jump in.
Thank you for stopping by My Turquoise Kettle Life today.
May you have a lovely day,
Sandra
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